Our hearts are so precious. They need to be cherished.
Posted by Fiona Nevile in Cottage tales | 112 comments
Inca getting bored with being photographed
Danny and I are splitting up. It’s very painful and I’m feeling so sad and desolate.
We have been together for 15 years. We were always good friends. He has never ceased to be a fun, intelligent and charming companion. He has shared so much knowledge. He always surprised and entertained me.
He also loved my Min Pin dogs. Scorned by so many in the past.
Unfortunately physically I could never be the slim, svelte lady that he really wished to have on his arm. And there’s the rub for both of us.
It has been hard for me to look in a mirror for years.
In the end I think that we both realised that we had find separate paths.
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So sorry about this. You need to really look after yourself now – eat well, sleep and try to laugh. You will come through this. Take care.
Hello Linda
Thanks for leaving your comment.
ATM I’m sleeping badly, eating sandwiches and I just laughed at my last few words!
I can’t tell you how sorry I am to read your post Fiona. I’m so sad for you. You’ve made a lot of people very happy through your blog and brought people together in a wonderful way online and in real life. I hope that you manage to get through this with not too many scars. Sending you gentle hugs and wishing you the very, very best.
Thank you jaqui and a big bear hug to you too.
Sorry to hear your news. Both of you need to take care of yourselves, please.
Hi Jo
We will take care of ourselves in time 🙂 Promise
Fiona, I read your blog just before I went to bed last night, and although I left a comment then, I just couldn’t get your words out of my head. I have never met you but I love your blog, and having read it for a few years now, this is what I think you should see when you look in a mirror -a creative, entrepreneurial woman with loads of guts and determination who has created this wonderful resource and community, has founded several thriving businesses, is a wonderful cook and recipe creator, gardener, brewer – this list goes on. This is all something to be really proud of – the other stuff doesn’t matter.
Take care.
Dear Nikki
Thank you so much for your comment. Much appreciated.
Now where is that mirror??
And I thought I neglected my readers- here we finally hear from you and it’s truly awful news.
If your size and shape are all that it boils down to, shame on Danny, and you’re better off with someone who doesn’t really love, which is all that it can boil down to. I have a friend whose husband messed around on her when she gained weight after starting a medication to squelch her arthritis.
I guess some guess some guys don’t get that “in sickness and in health” sometimes results in weight gain.
That said, it doesn’t help you feel any better about this. I’m really sorry to hear about this Fiona, and I wish you the best of luck and speedy recovery from this. Such sad news.
Hi Paula
I’m very sad about it too.
Of course there are a few other issues and most of these lead me to the same place.
Getting along superficially is quite easy. The same in depth can be so hard if things are not quite right.
Dear Fiona, I have dipped into your blog over the last few years and have enjoyed reading about your life with plants, animals, bees, homemade food and drink. That lifestyle is something I’ve desired so much for myself. However reading your news today has been so shocking and saddening, I feel moved to write to you. I have often felt very similar to you, although you don’t know of my existence; we are around the same age, of a creative bent, a shared love of nature and much, much more. I too have ME and know only too well what a devastating effect that illness has on lives. After 30 or so years of marriage my husband left me, no longer able to live with someone who had changed physically, mentally and emotionally. All I want to say is I understand what you are and have been going through. Time does help and dogs! There are so many people who know and love you, both actually and virtually, who will help you through this desolate and devastating time. You have reached out and enriched so many of our lives with tales from the cottage smallholder, or we have made your sloe gin recipe or tried your tips for getting hens to lay or whatever, remember this when you are feeling so low. Your generous spirit, warmth, humour, creativity, resourcefulness and many other qualities are way better than a svelte outline, that is just the packaging holding all the wonderfulness together, something you need to acknowledge difficult though that may be. You seem such a lovely lady and deserve to have happiness and contentment in your life. You have shared with us both the good and the bad, which can’t have been easy and I thank you for doing so, it’s those connections that is what life is about. I offer no quick cures or mawkish sentiment just a heartfelt missive from someone across the ether who’s life you have touched. Thank you and good luck.
Dear Liz
I felt quite chocked up when I read your comment.
It must have been so incredibly tough when your ex-husband dumped you after over 30 years.
I admire you for surviving and being able to share this information in your comment to me. So very much appreciated.
I agree that everyone deserves happiness and contentment in their lives. I do hope that you find it soon.
So sorry to hear this Fiona, I hope it becomes less painful in time.
Hi Nikki
So do I!!
Thanks for leaving a comment 🙂
Fiona,i am so sorry to hear your news, you have given so much to us over the years be it on line but now i hope you will let some of us be there for you when you need us. Time is a healer, i know of that through out the years when my wife passed away so please don`t do what i did because it was a mistake, i locked myself away and turned my back on the world and everyone in it, a very big mistake indeed but i learned and pulled myself out of that situation Please take care and you have my e mail address if you need someone to have a chat with, regards John x
Dear Jon
I’ve thought about your comment over the past couple of days.
I was sad to hear that your wife had died. That must be almost impossible to come to terms with.
I’ve heard tell that after the funeral, people tend to draw away from the bereaved. It’s a terrible situation. You need to be left alone to grieve but you also need to begin a new life. Home alone, every tiny thing must remind you of her. Her favourite mug, chair, the side of the bed that she slept on. Leaving out the affection and cuddles and interest in your life day to day.
Thanks for the warning about locking myself away. I’ve done this for the last 9 months and probably this brought everything to a head. My instant reaction to problems is so often to curl up like a woodlouse.
Having read your comment I rang an old friend that I’d lost touch with and went to see her this afternoon. I was worried that I’d be a tearful wreck but she wouldn’t have minded anyway. It was so good to give her a hug. Thank you Jon
You are very welcome Fiona and reading other posts on here i think you will never be alone, much love to you
A big hug back to you, Jon.
So sorry to hear your news. What a way to start the year. I’m sure all our thoughts are with you, and we wish you better health and life this year. Things can only get better from here on in. Big hugs to you. Julie
Hi Julie
Being a bit crazy and supertisious I was dreading 2013. At least I’ve faced my worst fear within the first week 🙂
Thanks for your comment!
I am stunned by this news and saddened too. I can’t add anything to what has already been said but please know that I care for the pair of you and am at the end of a phone or a laptop if either of you want to speak. Sending love and a hugs, as always.
xoxoxo
Hi Toffeeapple
Thank you.
Danny really wants to continue to maintain the website and forum for the forseeable future. This is a good thing as my web skills are sadly lacking in that area.
I’ll email you tomorrow.
Don’t forget to call me if you need me.
I do hope that D will continue to maintain the Blog and the forum, a lot of people depend a great deal on both of them and would hate to give either one up. I think, too, that it might do you good to write a little more frequently.
Hugs!
Hello Toffeeapple
Yes! Danny is going to maintain the website for the forum and blog. He is keen to get back to the forum but is a bit tied up ATM organising his new life.
He will be back soon. He misses the forum in particular.