Living like animals
Posted by Fiona Nevile in Cottage tales | 11 comments
Honey bee gathering nectar from a crocus
During the last few years of my decorating days I worked a lot with a particular builder – let’s call him Reg. He didn’t choose me. Rather I was selected by his clients. I was employed by one and then her friend, and then her ex husband and so on. If you do a good job the local bongo drums of personal recommendation bang far more vociferously than an expensive marketing campaign.
I liked this builder and had a lot of respect for him. His team was good, the work was excellent and this made my life very easy. If you are matched with an untrustworthy builder the problems are endless. One day we may need to do building work here, Reg is on a short list of just three builders that I would trust with the job.
But there was a dark side to Reg. He could be moody. When he was in one of his moods he sucked the joy out of his team, who then worked beside him in heavy silence.
One day I decided to ask him what was wrong. The team watched goggle eyed as he drew a deep breath, leaned back against the kitchen counter and responded.
“I had to clean the toilet upstairs this morning. It was disgusting. I couldn’t use it in that state. It’s not my job to clean the toilet. When we left last night the toilet was clean. I’m a builder not a housemaid.”
If Reg could have seen some of the workmen’s loos that I’ve used as a decorator he would have only approached them in a gas mask and rubber gloves.
Reg sat down on an old beer crate and continued.
“I can’t believe the filth that people live in. Look at most people’s dishwashers. They’re not clean. When I open them to put my mug in, the seals are filthy, the filters are probably blocked. It’s just not hygienic. I’m being asked to drink out of a mug that has been washed in festering dirt.”
I was astonished. I’d always assumed that builders wouldn’t mind a bit of mess. I mentally traveled back to the dishwasher in my kitchen. Yes we do ‘clean’ the dishwasher with dishwasher cleaner
Reg shifted on the beer crate.
“Some people bang on about builders mess. But they’re blind to their own filth, Fiona.”
He paused before making his final point.
“They are living like animals.”
I’m not tidy and hate cleaning. If Reg visited the cottage I’m pretty certain that we’d be added to his long list of ‘animals’. The phrase has become a standing joke in our house and is a benchmark that, when reached, indicates a deep spring clean is needed. Every time that I clean the loo and wipe the seals on the dishwasher, I think of Reg and his rage against filth.
And if he ever comes here to do some building work I will be stretched quite tight, maintaining the standards that Reg expects in a client’s home.
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Reg would not be a happy bunny here either. I clean and tidy regularly but as I finish one room and start another the marauding hordes follow behind me undoing all my good work.
For the record middle aged women don’t all damp dust their skirting boards either.
Me too – I’m in the process of springcleaning the house, seeing as I am not gainfully employed I may as well do something useful, and its scary just how bad the place is. The kitchen/bathroom/loo would probably pass Reg’s test most days, but the rest of the house – nope. With a dog and 3 cats, keeping dust and fur down is almost impossible, and our Dyson was out of action for over a month until a couple of days ago. Plus the OH refuses to dust and his idea of vaccing (which is officially his job when I am working full time as well) doesn’t include doing the very edges of rooms or under furniture.
What an excellent story Fiona and no, I shall not be meeting up with Reg either. He would not fit into my world at all!!!!
This is actually very funny and would make a good comedy sketch.
So I won’t be meeting Reg after all….such a shame being a good builder and all that…but being looked down on day in day out is more than I could bear.
Especially by someone I’m paying to do some work for me.At least he wouldn’t be able to complain about my dishwasher seals – i haven’t got a dishwasher! But he’d probably have a go at me about the state of my sink. (slopes ooff to give it a good going over…..
Oh yeah- that’s me. I live like an animal. I do clean the toilets fairly regularly, but the dishwasher seals? Please.
I’ve read that living in a sterile world is actually not good for you. You have to live with a little dirt in order to build up immunities. I don’t mean lick the cutting board after you’ve cut up a chicken on it; just don’t freak out about stuff. Like dishwasher seals.
Hmm, better cross Reg off my list of potential builders then
He should live with my mum, she runs her fingers across the tops of your doorframes checking for dust!!! I’m afraid her OCD cleanliness has rubbed off on me and sometimes I have to stop myself bleaching my dustpan and brush like she does.
I have to say though I think housework is far down the ‘to do’ list for young women, I think most of them move house rather than have to take a damp cloth to their skirting boards.
Um…yeah….
*glances around at the lounge room*
Reg wouldn’t be happy…
Oh dear! Reg had better not come here either :D. Mind you, you’ve got to love a builder that doesn’t make a huge mess. I have known one or two but not many