Guest Spot: The first step – by Jane Greppi
It was nearly ten years ago that we decided we’d had enough of London. It was dirty and noisy and not, we decided, the place to bring up our children. But my husband Zaz had always lived in town and had three conditions for leaving it. One: we had to be within walking distance of the sea. Two: he had to be able to get a boat as a first priority. Three: we had to live within the free delivery area of a decent Indian takeaway. I was brought up on the Hampshire-Dorset border and we decided we might as well start looking there. Zaz’s...
read moreThe Mouse
A couple of nights ago I noticed a small movement on the top of the cooker. Thinking that I’d imagined it I turned my gaze back to the laptop screen. A few minutes later I looked up to see a tiny mouse eating the crumbs from my midnight snack of marmite on toast on the plate that I’d left on the side. Teeny, perfect movements. I got up and roared. Rather fun late at night. He froze for a second before disappearing behind the cooker. One small foot hanging onto the side as paused to work out his descent. I thought that the dogs...
read moreCar Bomb
During the summer, I was making extensive repairs to the rendering on the outside of the cottage. I bought 25 kilo bags of sand and cement so that I could guarantee to get the right mix, as all my books came up with different ratios. The problem was where to store a half-used bag in between rendering splurges. I needed a dry space, ideally at waist height, very near to the area where I was working. I quickly found the perfect spot – the boot of Danny’s gleaming company car. For weeks I happily mixed and sploshed. Danny, whose study...
read moreShopping with Hitler
Rushing around Waitrose this afternoon with only twenty minutes to do the big shop, I spotted that the barbecue section is now dedicated to Christmas. Today, I didn’t have time to potter there. Each year I’m attracted by the pretty pots of apricots in brandy until I see exactly how much brandy they contain. I’m a bit sniffy about the “gift” selections, such as the miniature bottle of whisky sitting cosily beside a decent sized tumbler or the two Chinese bowls with chop sticks, nuzzling a bottle of soy sauce for...
read moreAnyone for tennis?
The only sport that I’m actively engaged in is killing flies. I have a good collection of swats. The blue one works the best. Not being a athletic type, I’m delighted that I’ve found a sport at which I shine. I did win the Junior Doubles Tennis Championship at school. But that was only because Petronella Lovegrove played heroically for two, whilst I skulked by the net. Now my weedy backhand and embarrassing dolly drop serve have been supplanted by a well honed whoosh and the happy click of fly on plastic. The fly killing...
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