Companion chariot
It’s that dreaded time of year when I have to accompany my faded friend to the Volvo garage in Bury St Edmunds. It’s like attending the Oscars and realising, too late, that you’re wearing muddy Wellingtons. Gleaming cars purr smugly past us as we make a five point kangaroo turn into the service bay. Jalopy is gutsy and doesn’t appear to notice the smirks. Once she’s up on the ramp, I feel much more relaxed. She has a gruelling three hours ahead. I, on the other hand, am snaking my way to Reception. I generally...
read moreIt only takes five minutes
Whoever first said this horrid little phrase must have impressed Danny as he uses it regularly. Particularly when we’re allocating the mundane jobs at home. Most of mine are stamped ‘five minutes’. I used to try and do the tasks in five minutes, now I just laugh. He is also fond of the phrase, “Yes. But it’ll take hours”. I’ve noticed recently that most of his jobs are snuggled in this category. I began to think of jobs that might only take five minutes and prepared a handy list: Answering an...
read moreBook review: In bed with a bug, John Seymour and three min pins
When I don’t fancy a glass of wine with supper, I know that I’m coming down with a bug. I creep into bed well before midnight, aching all over. Bugs are bad news for the self employed. Happily they’re a rare event with me. Danny pops on his nurse’s outfit and whisks about with hot water bottles and honey sweetened tea. He also prepares for the possibility that I might get better by locating John Seymour’s The New Complete Book of Self -Sufficiency – The classic guide for realists and dreamers. This quite a...
read moreThe Larder. Home to our fridge freezer
There is a small larder in the cottage kitchen. It’s one of the rooms that I particularly liked when I looked round for the first time. Colin, the seller, was astonished and explained that if he had stayed it would have gone. They had plans to knock down walls, create more foot space in the kitchen. Thank goodness they moved away. The larder is the old fashioned kind. A real cold room. Built on the north east corner of the cottage it’s always cool as there is an airflow beneath the floor. It’s only five feet square but holds...
read moreThe Dentist
Cleaning my teeth this morning I realised, with a sickening chill, that in under a month I will be visiting the dentist. Despite being frightened, I have gone every three months for the past two years. In the happier, dentist free days of past, I’d visit every seven or eight years. Just for a polish. Occasionally something went wrong and I’d rub on oil of cloves and go to bed very early, hoping for a miracle. But soon even a large slug of brandy wouldn’t dull the pain and I’d dial the dreaded number to book an emergency...
read moreGuest Spot: Wood by Jane Greppi
If you look in our garden, you will see wood. Lots of it. When we had an open fire, nobody ever thought about giving us wood. Then we replaced it with a wood-burning stove. Something about that name seemed to prompt everyone we met. “You’ve got a wood-burning stove?” they’d enthuse. “Do you want some wood?” People everywhere seemed to be felling trees, and, it seemed, felling them with the sole intention of supplying fuel for our stove. We were given three former trees in as many months. When we were offered...
read moreThe first lawnmower
When I arrived at the cottage I bought various essentials from the vendors. These included a gorgeous Mountfield lawn mower. Not a ride on affair but the punchy, self propelled, elbows out Mountfield Emperor. The previous owner had it parked on the lawn at a natty angle. I was seduced in an instant. The water table is high here. Within a few days the grass was shaggy. I had moved in with my mother on tow. She looked up from her breakfast and suggested that it could do with a trim. Desperate to show off my new acquisition, I sauntered out to...
read moreNew fridge magnets for the cottage
I’ve just bought some more magnetic letters for the fridge to replace the ones that Inca guzzled last week. We play with these a lot, leaving jokey messages for each other. The alphabet letters are also a major means of communication between Danny and My Mother, who has been know to dash into Newmarket and buy another pack just to finish a sentence. I had what can only be described as a mottled education. I enjoyed primary school and the set up was perfect for me. I loved the signs that were papered across every inanimate item in my...
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