The Cottage Smallholder

During my decorating years I have sat enthroned on a broad sweep of WCs in other people’s houses. Some loos are the height of luxury. Others are dank, chilly places, which guarantee the briefest visit. The best ones have thick quilted lavatory paper and a pile of interesting books beside the throne.

The Lemon Book: 1 is the sort of mini tome that I would pick up and relish. As it was only published last October, it hasn’t moved from bedside table to throneside in most of the houses that I visit.

There is nothing better than relaxing with a really good “dip into book” on the loo. Forget reading them in bed where you may have to fight sleepiness and the mumble of the telly. Alone in the loo you can really savour a good book, without distractions.

This is a cracker of a book, packed with information and an entertaining read. Ray Collins has compiled a collection of ways to use a lemon which would even have your grandmother laying down her sucking eggs to thumb through the pages.

Between the covers you will find the health benefits of using lemons. They can treat an endless list of ailments. Deep distractions such as warts, the need to detox your liver, cure bad breath and maintain a healthy heart, are a few problems that could be challenged by this diminutive fruit.

When you have finished getting fit with a lemon there is a beauty section that covers a plethora of treatments. Having removed the liver spots from your hands and any unsightly boils, this little book tells you how to run up Cleopatra’s anti-wrinkle recipe so you can strut to buy more lemons with the softest of skin.

Your next bag of lemons will help you clean your house, polish your brass and silver and remove deposits of lime scale (apart from gold plated taps). Moving forward from cleaning the entire kitchen you will need another clutch of lemons to try the ideas in his gastronome chapter

You can even recharge a battery using just a lemon and a strip of zinc. And tell the personality of a stranger by observing the saliva produced from putting one drop on their tongue.
“Hey, we haven’t been introduced but would you mind if I squirted some lemon juice in your mouth and examined your saliva?”
Full instructions are included.

Ray Collins has produced a real gem. Each time I open the book I find a new, riveting lemon fact. Our copy luxuriates beside our loo. Add The Lemon Book to your birthday list or buy a couple of copies for the future as it’s the perfect present for anyone who would appreciate an informative book that’s just a little bit different.

Ray Collins writes The Good Life Letter. A free online upbeat resource that examines alternative remedies, nutrition and health.